Synonyms get all the glory. They are always listed in the dictionary next to the words they match. They get most of the real estate in all the thesauri. Antonyms, on the other hand, usually don’t get much mention.

What is up with the second-class status of antonyms? I think antonyms are fun. Weren’t opposites one of the first things we learned about as young children? Up, down. In, out. Black, white. Cat, dog. Boat, car. Ball, bat.

The lack of antonym visibility may go right to the core of being an opposite. To paraphrase Kermit, it’s not easy being opposite. An opposite is by definition that which is totally different: different from or contrary to something or each other in every respect. Under that definition, the opposites we learned as kids may not be opposites at all. Is a dog really the opposite of a cat? No, since they are both furry mammals, right?

A Wikipedia contributor touches on the problem that may be behind the lack of antonym references with this explanation, “Not all words have an opposite. Some words are non-opposable. For example, the word platypus has no word that stands in opposition to it (hence, the unanswerability of What is the opposite of platypus?).”

True, but since when is every synonym listed in a dictionary or thesaurus identical in meaning? The definition of synonym allows for identical or similar. It makes our language rich and wonderful to have nuances of meaning. Let’s loosen up on the definition of antonym, or at least of opposite.

Having antonyms listed in dictionaries and thesauri would support my personal goal of being more expressive and accurate in my use of language—and in giving others the tools to do so too.

As I get older–I mean smarter–and try to cram more information into the limited space of my small skull I always want resources online and at my fingertips. I want a ready resource when, for example, I am looking for the opposite of recommend. It turns out that it is not easy to find an antonym for that word. Some of my Microsoft colleagues are trying to create their own words to express the opposite of recommend. So far disrecommend is very popular, while there was a lone voice asking recently for a discommendation.

Although they’ve tried to create new words, a taboo among language purists, those folks aren’t entirely off base. We were taught as innocent, eager students that adding dis , des, in, or un could magically turn a word into its opposite. Mount, dismount. Respect, disrespect. Certain, uncertain.

Looking for a single word antonym can be tough. The Encarta Dictionary was one of the few online resources that did justice to antonyms, but alas, it is no more. A close substitute can be found at the Antonym tab in Synonym-Finder.com, but even that site name speaks to the issue I’m raising.  Other online resources, such as dictionary.com and m-w.com, don’t bother with antonyms for most words.

With so few reliable antonym dictionaries out there, what’s a writer to do? We could express the opposite by using more than one word. The opposite of recommend then could be recommend against. But will people use that in common everyday language? Will they use it in the fast communication channel of e-mail or chat?

One editor at Microsoft, Mike Pope, thinks not. He says people are using disrecommend because it makes sense to them in the context of their conversations. He believes we should support them in their use of that term and adopt the laissez-faire attitude expressed by Erin McKean in her Powell’s Books blog. “Some people have the idea that if a word isn’t in the dictionary, they can’t use it. This is not a rule any lexicographer ever came up with (think about it — if this were true, we’d all be out of jobs right quick) and luckily not a rule that most people follow. If a word you want to use isn’t in the dictionary (and you’re sure you haven’t just misspelled it — hey, don’t worry, it happens to everyone), go ahead and use it! That’s the best way to get it in the next edition, and then everyone’s happy.”

I can hear many of my editor friends out there gagging and hitting the floor in a dead faint. That’s my impulse too, but I am completely dissatisfied with the antonyms for recommend.

Will I slip to the dark side and allow a non-word to come into common usage? Stay tuned as I decide whether to be a language superhero today or just one of the kids. What would you do??